


Paint The Town Red

by Jeb



Category: Pokemon GO, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alt. Title: Pokemon NO, Bc Writer is on Team Valor 8), F/M, Mention of Hamilton the Musical, Pokemon GO Shenanigans, Reader is on Team Valor, Vulgar Language, Will update tags with story, but IWAP has nothing to do with this story, i just needed puns and did not have any that were not dog related, some ties back to IWAP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7738462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeb/pseuds/Jeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really really really like this chapter and I hope you guys like it too</p>
<p>And, as always, thanks for reading, thanks for sticking with me, and thanks to those who comment! <3 <3 <3!!!</p>
        </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You stared up at the monster far off in front of you, peering at it through the alley way shadow you hid in. Your eyes continued to dart between that monster in front of you and your phone, watching as your gym was defeated over and over again. Whatever this monster had in his 'dex was powerful, and you weren't planning on seeing what he had. You weren't going to allow his planned takeover of _your_ gym come to fruition. 

It was cheap to wait in the shadows for your gym to be erased of its red glory in favor of a silver nothingness, and you were a bit of an asshole to steal victory from other trainers, but this was your town, and this was your gym. You weren't doing any harm by forcibly taking the gym back, and while Candela wouldn't be proud, you had to show everyone which team was best.

Valor. 

Not whatever team this monster was on. 

Your eyes gleamed with a concerning intensity as you watched your gym break down, silver light fading over the red light that had been there previously. Without hesitation, you clicked into the gym and slammed a CP 3300 Ninetails into the available gym. Your Pokemon were already sorted by CP, and while your Ninetails wasn't the highest CP you had, it was higher than what most people possessed. 

You weren't sure if it was your Pokemon or your childish action that caused the monster to go "NYEH! WHAT THE HECK?!", but it made you grin with pride. Yeah, you were dumb for doing it, and yeah, you were such a little asshole, but hey: You weren't complaining. 

You watched the tall skeletal monster storm away excitedly and waited a few minutes. There were plenty of Pokestops in the city that your town sat on the outskirts of, plenty of gyms, most of which you owned, and so you guessed that the monster probably stalked away to get some potions. Maybe he abandoned the idea of taking over your gym all together. For today, at least.

You hoped that that was the case. 

While you waited in those dark shadows, you scanned over all the gyms that you could see in your radar. As far as the eye could see, at least on the radar, little red Pokemon Gym symbols gleamed, occasionally broken by a Pokemon animation popping up. Animations of your Pokemon. Your smile grew a little wider.

All of your gyms were Level Tens or higher, and there were still plenty more that couldn't be seen on the radar. 

You stared down at the "43" that sat below your avatar's headshot proudly. The game had only come out a few months prior, but you were pretty damn good. 

You thought about the most recent challenger. Monsters had erupted from Mount Ebott almost two years ago, but any and all discrimination faded almost entirely into the background with the new release of Nintendo's Pokemon Go. Not that you had ever been one to discriminate. Most millennials didn't. The world was divided into teams, monsters included, and most people scowled at those on opposite teams regardless of race of species. Except for maybe Instinct players. Most of the ones you had met were pretty cool. 

When it didn't look like the skeletal monster was coming back, you fished out your earbuds from your pocket and plugged them in to your phone. Cycling through your playlist of pirated music, you settled on some much needed Hamilton and lowered your volume. It was late, after all, and while you would love to destroy your eardrums and jam out to Hamilton, you didn't care what others thought, you had to be careful. 

Recently, although not nearby, some Mystic and Valor players had been going head to head, catching each others hands and even a few bullets. As if the world wasn't scary enough.

You could kind of understand it though. If other players were as big of assholes as you were, you might want to hit them too. 

Chuckling to yourself, you walked out from the shadows and on to the streetlight-lit sidewalk. You turned and began to trudge on home, eyes still on your phone, and immediately startled when you walked directly into a heavily muscled chest. 

Was it possible for boobs to have biceps of their own? Because these did. These certainly did. 

You backed up and looked up to find a fish monster. In your peripherals, you could also see a shorter dinosaur monster. 

You backed up even further when the fish monster screeched, their voice scratchy and almost masculine, "YO PUNK!" Did all monsters shout? You had met a few, but most didn't stick around for conversation, tending to congregate in groups and stay with their friends. "DID YOU PUT THAT NINETAILS IN THERE?"

You tugged your earbuds out of your ears, tucking them into your pocket, and nodded, the smaller monster immediately speaking up, "W-whoa," So, not all monsters shouted. Nice to know. "D-d-did you hat-hatch it? I-I mean catch! I know y-you can't hatch anything b-but first-forms. D-did you catch i-it or evolve it?" 

The soft spoken and anxious monster seemed determined to get out her words, the glint in her eye promising curiosity and not hostility. You smiled, for the first time that night to someone else and not to yourself, and found the unease that comes with bumping into strangers fading. You even found the cautious nervousness fading, you knew that the fish monster could beat you up and even kill you. You always believed in the fear of the unknown, only in people, and this fact was exactly that: Unquestionable and definitely true. No need to be afraid. 

You opened your mouth, "I evolved it." 

"WHAT THE HECK!" You looked away from the dinosaur monster, your gaze being drawn back to the fish. You wished you knew their names. You felt like you were being offensive by thinking about the species they varied from. "HOW DID YOU FIND THAT MANY VULPIX CANDIES? AND WHAT CP WAS YOUR FRIGGEN VULPIX?"

After momentarily bragging about the CP 2632 Vulpix that you had evolved into a 3300 Ninetails, you introduced yourself and found that the fish monster was named Undyne and that the littler dinosaur monster went by Alphy, but her name was Alphys. You also found out that the two were both Valor, and that they were the only ones in their friend group to be on Valor. 

"YOU'RE PART OF OUR FRIEND GROUP NOW!" Undyne declared. "ONLY COOL LOSERS SHOULD HANG WITH US AND THOSE LOSERS ARE UNCOOL!" You were surprised at how suddenly Undyne seemed to accept you. Most monsters associated only with humans in order to make business transactions or something like that. 

They definitely didn't actively _try_ to become friends with humans. You supposed that was the magic of Pokemon. "Y-yeah!" Alphy jumped excitedly, pumping her fist into the air similar to how you would expect an anime character to act. She even appeared to suspend in the air for a few seconds too long, and when her feet touched the ground again, her words slurred together in a quick yip, "Imeanourfriendsarenotlosersbutthey'reonMysticwhichisnotcool! Except for Sans and Pap. They-they're on Instinct." 

You paused to process that for a quick heartbeat, her speech was extremely fast and left you reeling to pick out the bits and pieces. Undyne clapped a hand on your shoulder, the first physical contact that you had had in a long while, and the first physical contact that you had had with a monster ever. "YEAH!" You were surprised no one had woken up and come to shout at Undyne for her yelling. "THAT'S ACTUALLY WHY WE'RE HERE!"

You glanced down at your phone as it vibrated, and both Undyne and Alphy did the same. You tapped on the little Ghastly graphic and smiled when a CP 1091 popped up. It wasn't your strongest, not by a long shot, but it would do. As the three of you tried to catch the Ghastly, Alphy with a CP 610 and Undyne with a CP 881, Alphy began to talk. "Y-yeah. Our friend, Pap, said that s-someone took his g-gym before h-he could..YES! O-oh..Um..C-caught it. But anyw-way, someone took his g-gym so we came o-over to investigate, but when we saw it w-was a Valor gym.." 

"WITH A CP 3300 NINETAILS!" You looked back up at the two after spending two Pokeballs to catch Ghastly, the 150 XP doing little to boost your XP gauge. "WHAT THE HECK!"

Undyne went back to throwing all of her focus back on the gadget in her hands, a Samsung phone with little anime characters that you didn't recognize decorating the case, as she missed yet again. Alphys, who had already caught the Ghastly, began to speak again. "Y-yeah..But i-it's cool." 

You laughed, "Dude, no it's not. I was such a dick, taking it from your friend like that." 

"*yeah. a little bit. a lot-ta bit." 

You jumped a little bit (A lot-ta bit) and spun around to come immediately face to face with another skeletal monster. It bore no resemblance to the one from earlier, it's voice wasn't jovial and it certainly wasn't a walking tower of height. You stared into its dark eyes, which seemed awfully unfitting when compared to the lazy-faced expression that sat on its face, with immediate fright. 

Fear the unknown in people, and while you weren't sure if this monster could beat you up, standing there in its baggy blue jacket and running shorts, but _you weren't sure_. For all you knew, you could be staring into the face of some shape-shifting dragon monster thing. 

You backed up until you could feel your heels bump against Undyne's sneakered toes. "SANS!" Undyne yipped. "HELP ME CATCH THIS FUCKIN' GHASTLY! I'VE SPENT LIKE, THIRTY POKEBALLS ON IT!" 

The monster who you assumed was named Sans stepped forwards a few steps and reached over, its hand appearing to be coming straight for your face before diverting over your shoulder. When Undyne's phone was in its hand, it removed its arm from above your shoulder and brought the phone into its grasp. You noticed it was wearing a yellow striped set of gloves. It must be hard to have a phone that wouldn't register non-existent finger tips. 

With one swipe of his index finger, you all watched as the Pokeball fell onto the Ghastly's form, thunking against the graphic. The Pokeball enveloped the Ghastly, and after a quick few heartbeats, stopped rolling. The Ghastly registered to Undyne's Pokedex and the phone was promptly handed back to the fish woman. 

"*but yeah," Sans continued. "*you're a dick." 

You rolled your shoulders back in faux relaxation, "I prefer the term 'Asshole', but 'Dick' works too." 

The stout skeletal monster didn't appear to like humor, still grinning at you with dark eye sockets. Extremely terrified, slightly petrified, you looked over your shoulder towards your new friends. "Uh, it's getting late." You glanced at your phone, the time at the top reading a quarter passed eleven, "I should be getting home." 

"*i'll walk you home, _pal_." And with that tone, you settled it. You were going to have to say goodbye to your new friends forever and make a break for it. Sans was going to kill you. He was going to kill you dead. You were going to be another victim of Pokemon Go team violence. 

Didn't Alphy tell you that Sans was on Instinct? Or was that a different Sans? Either way, this one was not cool. 

If Sans was a friend of Undyne and Alphys, you would probably see it (Him?) a lot. Or maybe not. You were pretty sure Sans was going to hunt you down and kill you. Maybe transfer all your high CP Pokemon while it was at it. 

You shook your head rigidly, "No. Thanks. I'm okay, I'm good. Thanks." 

Undyne snickered as Sans jutted out its arm and bent it at the elbow, offering the limb for you to take. "COME ON, PUNK! SANS WON'T BITE!"

"*much." 

You took in a shaky breath and turned around to face your friends. "Guys, it's been fantastic and anytime you want to Pokehunt with me, come and find me. Thanks for tonight, it's been great." Undyne nodded, her hand raising to push you back a bit. Closer to Sans. 

Nope. Nope. You did not want to show this monster where you lived. You wished you had adopted your friends' puppy when they offered. The thing was beastly now and you didn't think that Sans could stand against a bone-hungry dog. 

"I-it's okay, (Y/n). S-Sans is nice! He's a g-great monster. D-don't be afraid!" So Sans is a he. And not a reason to be scared. So says Alphy. 

You decided not to take chances. 

You turned on your heels to face Sans, the motion stiff and robotic. His eyes were like pools of black ink, tiny black holes that threatened to suck you in at will. You took his arm and waved at your friends, bidding them a good night, before starting off in the opposite direction of your house. If you were going to walk with death, you should probably make it so that your body was found as close to your house as possible.

Oh well. "Don't kill me, please," Your words were sputtered out quickly, and you could barely hear them over the thumping of your heart. "Please. I kind of want to adopt a dog so I can tell people at my next High School Reunion that I had a kid and am successful, but I kind of need to be alive to adopt a puppy. And to go to a High School Reunion. Please." You took in a deep breath, not daring a glance at Sans. Your footsteps were uneven and jumpy and why the fuck did you have to be such an asshole? "Your friend can have the gym back! I'm so sorry for being such a dickweed. I really am." 

You chanced a glance and found that Sans was facing forwards, a hint of light coming from his eye sockets. Did he have pupils? After a moment, he spoke up. "*a dog huh? i can suggest some names." 

"Oh..um.." You were a cocky little shit, but right now, you felt completely lost. And afraid. You hoped you didn't piss your pants. 

You might piss your pants. "*like, a Golden Retriever? you could name it 'Telephone'." You saw Sans turn his head, you could feel his eye sockets boring into you. "*it could be your _golden receiver_." 

What the fuck? "What the fuck?" You didn't mean to say that aloud, but apparently your mind was stupid enough to voice things that probably shouldn't be said. 

Fuck, you wished it hadn't been ages since you talked to your parents. Or your friends. You wished your life hadn't begun to revolve around making money and Pokemon. Maybe if it hadn't, you could have a chance of having somebody come to your funeral. Because you were going to die. "*heh. a friend told me that one. how about a lab named 'Magic'? it'd be a _labracadabrador_." 

You could not believe something so disgusting and appalling as that pun could leave anyone's lips, Instinct or not. You openly gawked at him now, your stupid brain pumping out more shit and your lips spewing it, "Are you going to kill me? Because if you are, let me talk to someone else. This is not the last thing I want to hear before I die." 

For the first time that you had seen, Sans began to grow an honest smile and chuckled, "*you're not gonna die. i just want you to not be an asshole and take gyms like a respectable human being. even if that's hard for you to pretend to be." Ouch. "so anyway, what about a dachshund named 'Chili', it could be your _chili dog_." 

"You said I'm not gonna die. These jokes are so fucking dumb, they're gonna kill me." 

You looked up and away from Sans and saw that your home was coming into view. Sans had been leading you, to what you presumed to be your death, with languid steps and a slow pace. He seemed to know where he was going, despite you having never met him before, and certainly never having taken him back to your home before. You looked back over at Sans, realizing that your arms were still linked together. 

You glanced back at your home, a house that you rented that could fit four people comfortably and made living alone uncomfortable, and then back at Sans. And then back to your home. And then back at Sans. "*you know," Before you could think of how to divert Sans from your house, the skeletal monster spoke up again. "*you're making it really easy to figure out which house is yours." 

Your shoulders drooped slightly, "Yeah, I know, I'm a fucking idiot okay?" 

"*and a fuckin' asshole." 

You rolled your eyes and nodded, "And a fuckin' asshole." 

After a few moments of awkward silence, awkward on your part, Sans probably didn't give a shit, the skeletal monster spoke up again. "*does your roommate usually leave the door unlocked?" You stared at him, confused. "*you're not reaching for a key. i assume you don't have one because you don't need it." 

You offered up a wry smile, "I live alone. I keep the door unlocked, yes." 

"*that's stupid of you." 

You shrugged, "Like I said, I'm a fuckin' idiot." 

You two continued towards your house, and Sans didn't seem particularly eager to let you stew in the silence. "*you have an impressive amount of gyms throughout the city," He didn't mention that some of the gyms were extremely far away from your home. Well, extremely far when walking. 

Luckily, you had a car. "Yeah," 

"*like painting the town red or something?" 

You snorted, "Isn't that a game?" 

Sans bobbed his head in a nod and stopped, the two of you pausing at your front step. "*yeah. it's also used to describe a night of drinking, the phrase first proposed by the Marquis of Waterford in 1837." 

You rolled your eyes and separated yourself from Sans. "I'm interested in Pokemon, not history." 

"*yeah. you and your stupid ass CP 3300 Ninetails." 

You didn't know when you had turned around and begin to feel at ease around Sans, the angry skeletal monster who didn't have pupils and scared the living shit out of you, but you didn't mind pulling out your phone and scrolling through your Pokemon. "That's not even my highest CP." 

After showing off your Pokemon, to which Sans only responded by casually calling you a loser and a nerd every few Pokemon, you spared a glance at the clock. It was almost two in the fucking morning and you had to be at work in four hours. "Fuck," You hissed. You turned your attention back to Sans and lifted your hand to shake his gloved one. "It was, uh, nice meeting you. And your friends. But I have work in a few hours and I'm even more fucked if I don't hurry it up and go the fuck to bed." 

Sans took your hand, a resounding farting sound echoing through the night. He didn't hesitate to speak over the whoopee cushion, which currently rested against your palm, "*it was terrible meeting you, you awful husk of a human being." You arched an eyebrow and slowly took your hand back. "*heh. just kidding." 

His sense of humor was fucking weird. 

With a shrug, Sans grinned, "*anyway, i'll be _shiba inu later_ , and i'm sure Undyne and Alphys will too, so try not to be a douche and take any more of my brother's gyms. or if you do, do it fairly, you shit." 

You were left scowling at the dumb pun as Sans blinked out of view. Literally. He was there and then he just wasn't. And then, after he left, you were made to feel slightly guilty at your actions. You were an asshole, and Candela would not be proud. 

You turned and walked into your house, glad to not find yourself face to face with a pistol. It hadn't happened yet, but you had a habit of leaving your door unlocked and eventually it would happen. Hopefully not soon, you had only just narrowly escaped death thanks to a mercifully merciless skeletal monster, but eventually. 

You took a shower and felt the dirt and sweat sludge off of your back. It was your only day off for the next week and you had spent it out in the muggy heat, Pokehunting. After that, you settled in bed and decided to scan your gyms one more time. 

You were surprised to find that your Ninetails was sitting in your inventory, defeated. Resisting the urge to immediately run out and reclaim it, you found the gym on your radar and looked to see who had taken it over. You found a CP 2261 Arcanine belonging to a "CoolSkeleton95". Just below that was a CP 10 Weedle belonging to a "laziskeli". 

You tossed your phone on to your nightstand after healing your Ninetails and fell onto your mattress. 

You were an asshole but..Fucking Sans.


	2. Chapter 2

You woke up to the sound of a blaring alarm clock, an object that glared up at you with an angry red **3:30**. You curled your back until it rested against the wooden headboard, rubbing at your eyes absently. You had half an hour before you had to open the restaurant you currently managed, with the help of your assistant managers, of course. It wouldn't be open to the public for several more hours, but when the clock hit a quarter to eleven, it had to be perfectly prepared. And someone had to be there to prepare it. 

You let out a low groan, audibly expressing your disapproval as your body stretched, reaching across your bed for the phone that rested on your nightstand. You plugged in your passcode and unlocked your phone, staring hard at the various apps that lit up with tiny notification bubbles that you ignored. You searched through the various apps, your thumb tapping on the small Pokeball icon as it appeared. 

The Gyrados loading screen taunted you for a few heartbeats as you slid your legs over until your feet touched the ground. You rose to your feet, phone still in hand, and began to move almost automatically. A footstep here, another there, and you were moving through your morning routine with practiced ease. For all that you cursed and fought your own thoughts, you were secure in your identity, only becoming lost to whimsical insecurities when you indulged yourself in the game that was still loading. 

It sounded dumb to allow your inner child to break free from undefined constraints only when you could allow a few hours, and more than a few dollars, dedicated to an online app. In fact, it was dumb. It was idiotic to allow your inner vulgarity to stain your lips in slurred curse words and barely restrained insults hurled at players on different teams, every and any insult being displayed only in the corsets of your mind, when you weren't on the clock. But you got paid salary, not hourly, and honestly didn't give a fuck. 

You scanned the area near your bedroom in hopes of finding a Pokemon that you needed. You lived close enough to a large city that Growlithe's and the odd Vulpix appeared in your home, but not often enough to satisfy you. You had many Arcanine, and your 3300 Ninetails was something to be proud of, but it never felt like it was enough. 

You toed a loose sock that had stuck to the floor after missing the hamper a few weeks ago, you'd never bothered to clean it up, as you selected a Magikarp graphic. You stalked over to your dresser and pulled out your usual uniform, tucking it beneath your arm. You idly considered picking up the lone sock, the black color seeming to stain your peripherals as its color marred against the distinctly shit colored floor, but ultimately decided to move on and continue your routine. You tossed a Pokeball at the CP 35 Magikarp, watching as the Pokeball enveloped the flopping fish creature.

Your routine was one almost entirely made up of robotic movements and silence. You lived alone, talking wouldn't do anything but convince you that you were crazy, and turning on music would drown out the sounds that could be associated with someone breaking in, stealing stuff, or trying to murder you. 

You were a very careful, very cautious person. 

You walked through the hall thoughtlessly, dropping your phone off directly outside of your bathroom door, on the floor, when you reached the room. You stepped in, your socked feet sliding against the bathroom tiles, dropped your uniform unceremoniously on to the floor, and immediately began to strip. Every morning, you awoke with the haunting feeling that you never had enough time to complete your routine and that you would be late, but you always arrived ahead of time, and even if you didn't, no one would be there to know. 

You were alone in your restaurant for hours before the first employee showed up, whoever it was that was scheduled for the "Early morning shift". 

You stepped into the shower and ignored thoughts that were filled with magical creatures and magnificent battles. You ignored thoughts of a world made better by Pokemon. Your world, made better by Pokemon. You had always been a fan of the games growing up, but you never assumed that you would be as enraptured by a new game as you are with Pokemon Go.

Even if the platform did bring out your unprofessional and childish side. Even if the game did bring out your inner asshole. 

Oh well. Childhoods were never meant to die, yours shouldn't be any different. 

You showered quickly, scrubbing away remnants of sleep sweat that you wouldn't mind keeping a little longer, if it meant you could sleep for just a little longer. Once you were properly cleaned, you stepped out, not eager to waste any time unnecessarily, and dried yourself off. It was quick and methodical, joined by the unpleasant and pungent stink of powerful mouthwash as you multi-tasked. 

You were always multi-tasking. 

You began to get dressed, gurgling the stinging liquid as you tugged on your socks and underwear, and then moving back to swishing it around when it was time to put on your pants on. You clipped on your bra and tugged your polo shirt over your head, spitting the mouthwash out only when your shirt was tucked firmly into your pants. You hooked a belt through the belt loops and adjusted it as necessary. 

You wiped the steam off of the mirror in front of you and tied your hair back into a bun, marveling for a brief second at how professional you had come to look before letting your hair out of its constraint. Every movement was routine and scheduled, even your moment of admiration. 

You cleaned up well. 

You cleaned up damn well. 

Gathering up the dirty pajamas and hanging up the towel you had used, you cleaned up your bathroom and stepped out of the bathroom, your steps gaining the shaky urgency that came when you were out of sight of employees and guests. Not that it would matter if anyone saw your jittery movements. Without your bun and stern expression, you were almost a completely different person in the eyes of everyone who knew you currently. 

You knelt down and snatched your phone up from where it had laid on the ground for the past few minutes. You checked the time and saw that you still had twenty minutes to get to work. Calmly, you whispered to yourself. "No time to waste." 

You got to the restaurant at four, the next employee at eight thirty, and the rest trickling in at their scheduled time. That was a four and a half hour difference from when you actually needed to turn into a snoody, but approachable, bitch. Still, you hated being unprofessional in the eyes of anybody who wasn't yourself, and arriving exactly on time came with that description. While corporate technically owned the restaurant, you liked to act like it was yours, and that meant setting the example for all prying eyes, including your own.

You marched through your house, a woman on a mission, picking up only the necessities that you had carefully lain out yesterday morning in preparation for this morning: Your purse, your keys, your key card, etc..You had placed everything so that it would be picked up in order of necessity, from the least needed to the most, and so when you got to the door, garage keys in hand, you felt thoroughly prepared. 

This brought no small amount of satisfaction to you. With a kick to your step, both from the feeling of being rushed and the inner joy you felt at being completely prepared to start the day, you locked your front door and unlocked your garage. After a minute, you were sailing down the empty road, thoughts of Pokemon subsiding for the day as immediate comfort washed over your person as the knowledge of your home's security dawned on you. You had arrived four minutes before you were scheduled to, all according to plan. You unlocked the door and locked it once you were inside, sauntering through the restaurant with a clear sense of solitary loneliness. 

It took a few hours of tireless work before those thoughts came back. Or, more specifically, the thoughts came back when they were thrown back at you as a familiar set of monsters walked through your doors. 

You had cleaned the restaurant from top to bottom, including wiping down the menus and prepping the kitchen with the few early morning line cooks that showed up on time. Your head ached from the tight bun you had thrown your hair up in, your lips strained from the perpetual frown that you had laced over your lips, broken only by the occasional comforting smile offered to employees, and all thoughts of your Pokemon adventure last night had been erased completely from the forefront of your mind. 

You were in your office, surveying over reports as the assistant kitchen manager tallied total food costs for the previous week, something that should have been done yesterday while you were out, when your headset buzzed. You placed the rubber frame over your ear after hearing it begin to sound with the voice of one of your hostesses, an almost frantic and slightly hesitant speech railing out. "(Y/n)? There are some..Monsters here, and, um..." The young girl trailed off, prompting you to look up at the video feed that displayed camera feed from all over the store. 

The young girl spoke up again. "They're garbed in Pokemon Go gear, and they're really drawing a lot of attention." You found the young hostess with her hand pressed firmly to her lips, obviously holding the microphone piece to her mouth. "Can you please come out? Please?" 

While most of your employees didn't necessarily _fear_ you, the younger ones were often hesitant in placing requests. Those who stayed long enough learned that you were bossy only when the situation called for that kind of forced handling. Most of your employees even called you their friend, some calling you their favorite manager, but this hostess had only been employed a month ago. 

You didn't bother to look up at the camera feed. You simply barked out a curt, "I'll be right out.", drawing the attention of the assistant kitchen manager who did not need to wear a headset and never did. You pushed yourself out of your chair and abandoned the reports, pocketing your key card as well as the office keys that lead to your automatically locked office door. 

Wandering out from the back and coming around from the kitchen, you approached the front. For the first time all day, you were reminded of last night. Your eyes met those of your guests as the young hostess spoke, most likely reassuring them and telling them that you were on your way, and you found that while you recognized four of the five monsters, they didn't seem to recognize you. 

You stalked closer to them. Sure enough, both Undyne and the taller skeleton from last night were garbed head to toe in Pokemon team themed gear. Undyne sported a red Valor jacket, stocked with pins that decorated almost every available space, all displaying the telltale fire bird, Moltres. The skeleton looked almost like a Pokemon Go avatar brought to life, fully equipped with a Pokemon Go hat, shirt, and even a wig that matched the avatar you remembered seeing last night. 

To the skeleton's immediate right stood Sans, who slouched slightly and was still in his baggy blue winter coat and odd running shorts. The only thing that put him with the rest of the Pokemon gang was a pin displaying the thunder bird, Zaptos, as well as the words "TEAM INSTINCT". He looked over at you, uninterested pupils gleaming slightly as if he detected a threat. Or maybe not, you didn't know monster body language. Honestly, you were just surprised that he actually had pupils to look at you with. You had been content with just assuming his eye sockets were blank black holes that absorbed any and all unease and turned it all into shitty puns. 

Alphy stood to Undyne's left, her outfit almost comically designed to match Undyne's completely. You swore that the pins and buttons were even placed in the exact same spot as Undyne's. You saw her lean over to talk to a gloriously tall goat monster, who was adorning several buttons depicting the ice bird Articuno on her dress, before shooting you a sheepish smile. 

You drew closer and resisted the urge to straighten your back even further. You knew it would make you look ridiculous. And besides, these clods didn't recognize you, anyway. 

You approached and stopped so that you stood next to your hostess, who introduced you as her highest supervisor and quickly left you alone with the group. You reached out your hand and shook the hands of all of the monsters, introducing yourself formally and asking what the problem was.

The taller skeleton spoke first. "WE JANGLE TOO MUCH!" 

You didn't spare a perplexed look to the group, motioning to the buttons that all of the members of the party wore, obviously with pride. "We welcome all of our guests with open arms, regardless of how they jangle." 

You offered up a sincere smile, you really did welcome all guests and made sure that all of your staff did too, when Sans spoke up. "*i'm glad that you do, pal, but i don't think your other customers are quite so accepting." 

He had proposed a double edged sword, and if you weren't so well versed in hospitality, you might have been stumped on how to handle the situation. "Any and all unruly guests will be handled as according to our security format. And they will be dealt with immediately. I am going to need to know the nature of your concerns in order to follow protocol more closely." 

You felt countless eyes on you, and all conversation seemed to stop as the feminine goat monster began to explain that the Pokehunters just wanted a place to rest their more..jangly.. coats so as not to disturb any of your other customers while they rested from the afternoon's hunt. You offered to store them with the hosts up at the host stand, and after the group conferred with one another, they decided to go with your plan.

Most guests usually accepted your solutions as being the best. You escorted the group over to the host stand, where you immediately explained the course of action and the monsters deposited their beloved jackets, with the exception of Sans and the goat monster, and you then personally selected a table for them and then escorted them over there too. It was a cozy little booth that sat in the corner, one of only four booths, all located in corners, that could comfortably sit five adults. 

The monsters filed into the octagonal booth, the skeleton monster sitting in the center with Undyne and the goat monster sitting next to him, Alphy and Sans sitting on the edges closest to the opening of the booth. You set out their menus for them and reassured them that their server would be with them shortly. You pointedly ignored the buzzing of voices in your ear, all coming through your headset as hosts and bussers alike, the only team members aside from management that had access to headsets, spoke about you with awe. It was a simple solution, you didn't understand why everyone was so perplexed as to how you had come up with it. They also apparently forgot that you had a headset on and could hear everything they were saying. 

As you straightened your back and told the group of Pokemon Go players, the most diverse group you had seen yet, to enjoy their stay Sans spoke up. You focused your attention on him as he said, "Glad that we talked to someone who actually gives a _shih tzu_." 

As if the awful pun wasn't enough, the smirk that Sans held on his teeth as he scanned your expression was a dead giveaway that he knew who you were, that he recognized you from last night as you had recognized him. 

He leaned over to the tall goat monster, had begun to snicker despite the incredulous stare of the rest of the group, and elbowed her. Raising an eyebone and turning his gaze back to you, Sans began to talk again. "We'll probably come here a lot more now that we know management is so," He pointed a gloved finger at the image of a cheeseburger that adorned your menu front. " _gouda_." 

The tall skeleton let out a huffed squeal of discontent and the goat monster, the only member of the Mystic Pokemon Go team, you noticed, chuckled openly and reprimanded Sans with a soft, "You're so dumb." 

Her voice was melodious even when used to express faux disapproval, something she wasn't pulling off well with that light chuckle still rupturing her voice. You strained your smile slightly and nodded, "I'm glad to hear that. I hope to see you again soon." 

Before Sans could quip another pun, you turned around, making sure to not be impolite, and began to check up on the other tables and guests. 

Once you had made sure that both your guests and your staff were satisfied and stress free, you stalked back to your office and unlocked the door. You had noticed the assistant kitchen manager working with her team when you passed by the kitchen, but you didn't expect the office to feel so empty as you stepped foot into it. 

You glanced at your watch. **5:03pm**. You supposed you could head home, you had spent far longer in the restaurant than most management on salary would stand. But then again, while the restaurant technically belonged to corporate, you firmly felt as though it was yours. Your staff were something similar to family to you, most being considered children, even if a good bit of them were older than you. 

You took in a deep inhale and lowered your body back on to the chair you had been sitting on previously. Sliding the chair's wheels against the tile floor, you began to pour over the reports with practiced ease. You only glanced up to see the laughing faces of your guests, displayed on a computer monitor, every so often, feeling slightly less lonely when you saw how they were enjoying themselves in your restaurant. 

Until they left, you found your eyes occasionally drawn to one of the octagonal booth in the back. You found your eyes drawn more to the skeleton sitting on the edge of the booth, who occasionally glanced up at the cameras as if he knew you were watching. Every time your eyes indirectly met, you thought about that shitty pun that keyed you into the fact that Sans saw through your professional face, saw through your polo shirt, your black dress pants and black nonslip shoes. Every time that happened, you were brought back to your reports as one phrase crossed your mind: Fucking Sans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really really like this chapter and I hope you guys like it too
> 
> And, as always, thanks for reading, thanks for sticking with me, and thanks to those who comment! <3 <3 <3!!!


	3. Chapter 3

You slowly reclined into your usual chair, microwaved mac'n'cheese in one hand and phone in the other. Surveying your almost empty living room, you let out a loud sigh. Your stomach seemed excited to gurgle in response, prompting you to put your phone at your side and begin to dig into the plastic bowl of processed noodles and cheese. Your phone buzzed, and when you spared it some attention, you saw that there was a Pigeot icon on your screen. You continued eating. 

It was late. It was very late. Too late to even consider going out to reclaim lost gyms, or even to indulge in a late night Pokehunt. Most nights, you wondered why you even left the restaurant, usually leaving late into the night or early in the morning. This time, it was the latter. 

You opted to not go to sleep. You would only get two or three hours of sleep, if you fell asleep right away, and when you eventually woke up, you would only be even more tired than you are now.

Looking up at the large television far off in front of you, you stared into its black screen. You typically found yourself in the living room after a long day of work, usually making the same decision to not sleep as you did now, but you never turned it on. It was honestly useless to own such an expensive television but you could never find the will or dedication to get really into a show, plus you didn't pay for it. It was a gift, and most gifts were for decoration anyway.

You shoveled more food in your mouth before scraping at the bottom of the plastic bowl. When it was completely empty, you gently lowered it onto the floor with a resolve to pick it up later, and finally paid your phone more attention than just a passing glance. The Pigeot was still there, oddly enough, and you tapped on its graphic. 

You engaged into battle with a CP 502 Pigeot, immediately wondering if you were actually going to waste your Pokeballs on it. You followed a strict "No more than three" rule for Pokemon under 1500CP. When, after the third Pokeball, the Pigeot still refused to be caught, you exited from its battle screen. 

You scanned over your radar, finding nothing that really interested you, and waited a few minutes before getting up. Dropping your phone on to the chair you had previously vacated, you stretched your back, trying to ease the strain, and lowered into a squat to pick up the previously discarded plastic cup. You looked into it as you rose, wondering why you filled you body with such filth. You knew your employees regularly ate trash like this, but that didn't mean you wanted them to. You wanted all of your employees, who you often regarded as family, although not to their faces, to enjoy home cooked meals and things containing actual nutritional value.

But then again, if you couldn't afford it, having a much higher salary than all of them, you doubted they could either. Well, you could afford it, but making an actual meal worthy of nutritional value took time. And time wasn't a luxury you usually had. 

As you weighed the difference between costs, both time and monetary expenses, you were unaware of the loud sound of heavy footsteps approaching your front door. It was almost two in the morning, so even if you had taken the time to bring your guard up and notice the sounds, you would have dismissed them. 

Stepping into your kitchen, you pressed a foot on to the bottom of your trash can, the top lifting for you, and deposited the plastic bowl. You kept the metal spoon in your hand, taking your foot off the pedal in favor of using it to walk towards the sink. You placed the utensil in your immaculate sink and reached for the sponge kept behind the sink faucet. Turning the water on to a low enough water pressure that you wouldn't be blasted while cleaning the spoon, you scrubbed off processed cheese and washed the handle.

When you were finished, you turned off the sink and noticed a very slow, almost methodical, knocking resounding from your front door. It sounded loud and clunky, but it still held a pattern of a knock every two seconds. Likely, the pause was long enough for whoever was knocking to lift their hand from the door and to bring it back down. 

You placed the spoon in the empty dish rack and turned on your heels. You weren't sure if you wanted to put on a faux aura of authority, similar to the one you possessed when you walked into the restaurant, only this time it would be more forced, more concentrated. Or you could be your normal lazy self, stinking with an aura of lazy cockiness and standing as the definition of an asshole. 

Your hair was already down, and you weren't keen on putting it back up. You sauntered out of your kitchen and towards the front door with no sense of urgency, although your heartbeat was erratic. You had done a lot to piss a lot of people off, you wouldn't put it past anyone to come to your house and try and off you. You would do it in a heartbeat if you had to deal with someone like you. 

Squaring your shoulders and taking a deep breath, you unlocked your door and threw it open. 

"PUNK! I WAS OUT HERE KNOCKING FOREVER! WHAT THE HECK?"

You startled, stepping away from the door, which apparently was enough for the fish monster and her smaller dinosaur-styled friend to waltz through your open doorway. You let out a deep exhale despite the sudden intrusion and shut the door behind your surprise guests. 

Reaching up and running a hand through your messy hair, you closed your eyes and breathed. Undyne quickly picked up on your returning relief, her voice calling out from a few steps in front of you, "YOU SAID TO FIND YOU ANYTIME WE WANTED TO POKEHUNT!" 

That you did, you reprimanded. Two days ago, when you had first encountered Undyne and Alphy after taking over their friends' gym, you had encouraged them to come find you when they wanted to Pokehunt. You almost slapped an open palm against your face when you remembered what you had said. Well, at least it wasn't anyone coming to kill you. Or Sans. These two were preferable to either of those two outcomes. 

Appealing more towards Alphys than Undyne, you inquired, "Isn't it a little late?" 

Strangely enough, Alphy looked offended. Drawing a clawed hand to her chest, she gasped almost theatrically, "T-t-too late to P-Pokehunt? O-of cou-course not!" In a fit of what seemed to be dedicated and motivated valor, Alphy exclaimed. "It's never too late to Pokehunt!" 

You weren't sure whether to be more shocked at the fact that she didn't stutter once in that proclamation, or that she had grown loud enough to almost rival Undyne. You decided on the former. "Well," 

You were immediately cut off, "COME ON, PUNK! THERE'S AN ARCANINE BY THAT ONE GYM YOU STOLE FROM PAPYRUS!" Undyne grinned so wide, you almost feared she would split her mouth in half and become a representation of a Canadian monster from South Park. "SANS AND PAP ARE ALREADY WAITING! DON'T BE A BUZZKILL!"

Oh wow. Sans was there. Of course you wanted to go there. 

You fought the urge to roll your eyes and spew the sarcastic comments as they popped up in your head. "How did you guys find out where I lived, anyway?" 

You walked passed the two, hearing their footsteps as they tagged along behind you. You maneuvered through your house, heading towards your living room. "S-Sans pointed i-it out to us wh-when we said we d-didn't k-know where y-you lived." Makes sense. 

"YEAH! AND AFTER YOUR SISTER WAS SO NICE TO US TODAY-"

"Y-yesterday," Alphy fondly corrected. 

"YESTERDAY! WE DECIDED WE WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU TODAY!"

You looked back at them quizzically. "My.." You paused, "Sister?" 

As they followed you into your living room Alphys began marveling at how empty it was, Undyne about how impressive your television was. "YEAH!" Undyne shouted, and you briefly remembered your next door neighbors. You immediately felt sorry for them. "THE ONE WHO OWNS THE (Restaurant)? OR MAYBE THAT'S SOMEONE WHO JUST LOOKS LIKE YOU?" You forced an awkward smile and nodded along to what Undyne was saying, bending over slightly to snatch up your phone.

So Sans hadn't told them that you owned, or rather managed, the place that he and his friends had visited today? That was nice of him, though it wouldn't hurt your reputation any if he had. 

Before you could have a full moment to process Sans' kindness, Undyne punched you, hard, on the shoulder and guffawed, "JUST KIDDING! YOU DIDN'T THINK WE ACTUALLY FELL FOR ONE OF SANS' LIES, DID YOU? HAHA!" Undyne wiped a tear from her scaly skin. 

Well, at least Sans tried. 

"I-I don't know o-of any parents to b-be so c-cruel as to give the-their children, t-twins at that, the s-same name." Alphy shrugged, feigning indifference, "Well, n-not any monster parents a-anyway." 

You brushed your free hand through your hair again, wishing you had decided to go to bed. "Ugh, fuck," You felt your inner vulgarity poison your aura with a satisfying slip of the tongue. "Let's go catch that Arcanine." 

Alphys let out a whoop of excitement and Undyne didn't waste any time in grabbing both of your arms and charging out of the living room. You gripped your phone a little tighter as Undyne hollered, "IT BETTER NOT HAVE DESPAWNED!"

You shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it or turn off any lights on your way out, and raced after Undyne. She had hoisted Alphys on her shoulders to make getting to the gym faster, and left you trailing behind. The fish monster was surprisingly agile on land, making it hard, but not impossible, to keep up. 

You were glad that you had changed out of your work clothes. Running in those non-slip shoes would have been borderline impossible. 

You arrived only a few seconds, maybe a minute, after a rather impressed Undyne. You huffed and took in a surprising amount of air in an attempt to still your beating heart. You looked up and saw that, aside from the lovely goat monster, everyone from earlier was there. 

Sans regarded you curiously, his pupils back in his head and a not-so-disturbing grin plastered on to his face. Who you assumed to be Papyrus stood tall, his lanky body appearing odd in his outfit of armor. You took your hands off of your knees and rose to a standing position, your breath still coming out labored. 

"*hey, pal. nice to see you." You glared at Sans. "*if you'd have gotten here any later, i'd say we might be close to _running_ out of time to 'kehunt." 

If looks could kill, Sans would be a dead man. Skeleton. What the fuck ever. 

With one final deep inhale, you revealed a grin of your own. You felt the relaxation creep over you as you enjoyed the jovial conversations of the others, feeling happy to not have to be as tight and stuck up as your bun usually was. 

Undyne bumped you with her hip, "IS IT ON YOUR RADAR YET?"

You opened your radar and scanned the nearby Pokemon for an Arcanine icon. Shaking your head, you said, "Nope. It must be gone." 

"I GOT IT!" The taller skeleton, who you had learned was indeed Papyrus, shouted. 

Why did all monsters shout? 

You glanced over at Sans, and then at Alphys.

Why did _almost_ all monsters shout? 

You smiled at Papyrus as he eagerly showed you his Pokemon collection, having gained another Arcanine besides the CP 2261 that he had placed in your gym a few days ago. The new one, which you could differentiate between the two by the glowing blue background, was a CP 1025. It wasn't his best Pokemon, obviously, but it was up there.

You almost felt bad for him. You were such a fucking asshole that you felt bad for anyone who's highest wasn't in the CP 3000s. 

You could feel Sans' judging eyes, er, sockets, on your person just for thinking to pity Papyrus. 

Casting an apologetic smile over at the stouter skeleton, you shrugged your shoulders before rolling them out to make it seem like a casual gesture. No one needed to know about the exchange shared between you and Sans, not that there had been much. It just seemed weird. 

It was weird.

It was really fucking weird. 

You immediately threw out all ideas of Sans somehow knowing that you were pitying Papyrus for having lower Pokemon than you. He didn't know. He was just a stupid fucking skeleton monster who told stupid fucking jokes. Puns. Whatever. 

After a long while, all of you decided to move on from the lost Arcanine and try to find something else. Undyne's small collection led her to having a silhouette of a Pokemon instead of an icon every few steps and so you all usually followed Undyne. 

You noticed that you were dragging behind. Papyrus and Undyne were both moving too excitedly, worming through the streets like two monsters on a mission, and Alphys tried her hardest to keep up with the two of them. To keep up with Undyne. 

Sans usually walked in a sluggish pace that somehow enabled him to keep up with his brother. It was weird. He was fucking weird. His steps were so slow, so languid, and yet he kept up with Papyrus and Undyne easily. 

You were always several paces behind. Sometimes, you had to guess which street the four monsters disappeared down because they were just too far ahead. 

It felt dumb and childish to feel emotional pain over being left behind by a group that you didn't know. You were so entirely different from all of them, you shouldn't have expected them to wait up for your slow ass, even if they had invited you out. You were so different from them. For one, they weren't assholes. Or, at least, you didn't think they were assholes. And for two, you weren't a monster.

You weren't like them.

The only thing that you had in common with all of them was that you all liked Pokemon Go. The differences outweighed the similarities. 

Letting out a heavy sigh, you resolved to just turn back and head home when you realized that you, again, couldn't find your group. Just as you began to spin on your heels, an arm reached out to stop you. You felt a leather shielded palm rest on your forearm, a voice stopping your thoughts. "*hey, pal. we're the other way." 

Sans tugged on your arm lightly, forcing you to turn back around. You forced a smile, let out a small laugh, and looked at the skeletal monster. "I know, I know." You brought your phone up and looked at the time. It was a quarter passed two. "I have to get ready for work soon."

You had another hour before you had to get ready, but an hour spent sulking in your living room seemed better than an hour spent trailing after monsters. You had all the Pokemon they seemed to be looking for, but you were too far away to hear their excited chatter to know what they were chasing after. "*we'll make sure we get you back in time," Another tug on your arm. "*c'mon." 

You let out a deep sigh and let a shit-eating grin pass your lips. You opened your mouth to speak, but Sans interrupted you. "*i won't leave you behind. it's too late to be walking on your own." 

So he was the father figure of his group? 

He released your arm and held out his hand. Without so much as a shrug, you slipped your hand into his gloved one. He started off in the opposite direction that you were planning to go, and to your amazement, within minutes you were back with your group. 

You kept your fingers intertwined with Sans' as you approached the three other monsters. In the middle of a bellowing laugh, Undyne cast a glance behind her and saw the two of you coming up. "YO! PUNK!"

You were immediately enveloped by the sounds of laughing monsters and concerned voices as everyone, sans Sans, asked you where you had been and warned you not to leave the group again. The amount of love washing off all of them, including Papyrus, who you had been an asshole to just two days ago, was almost overwhelming. It felt like they were trying to heal you of your asshole ways. Almost. 

The group was chasing after a rather elusive Clefable, a creature that you had a limited amount of, and the highest CP Clefable you had wasn't very impressive by your standards. And so, hand still coupled with Sans', you chased after the Pokemon with the rest of them.

When you eventually found it, you discovered a CP 2903, making your the highest discovered in the group. Freeing your hand from Sans' to capture it, you let out a frustrated huff when, after the fifteenth Pokeball, the Clefable still didn't stay in its cage. 

"*let me," Reaching over with the hand that had previously held yours, Sans plucked your phone from your grasp. You watched as he twirled the Pokeball around, throwing an excellent curve ball and securing the Clefable to your 'dex. 

You grinned and took your phone back when Sans offered it, "Dude! Thanks so much!" You immediately opened your Pokemon storage and searched out the elite Clefable, which dwarfed your next highest Clefable by almost 2000 CP. Despite knowing that he caught it for you, you eagerly leaned closer to Sans and showed him the Pokemon. You moved your finger over the icon and spun the pink pocket monster around, displaying every visible inch to Sans before showing the others.

When everyone had caught their Clefable, your small group began to start off towards the direction that a Gengar seemed to be. Without thinking, you slipped your hand into Sans' already outstretched one, a kick to your step as you walked beside the group, rather than far behind it. 

You didn't often get sad like you did earlier, but who the fuck cares? You were more than ecstatic now, hand in hand with Sans as he led you towards a slower pace that somehow managed to keep up with the other three. 

After catching three more desired Pokemon, Sans led the group towards your home, where you were dropped off to begin your usual preparations for work. 

Before walking off with Undyne and the others, Sans grinned at you with an expression that you could only call sincerity. "*thanks for being less of an asshole than usual," 

You smiled and pocketed your cell phone, separating your hand from Sans' as you ran the sweaty hand through your hair. "Thanks for helping me keep up with the gang." 

Sans let out a monstrous yawn, his mouth gaping for a terrifying second as you realized that yet, Sans' mouth could open, and yes, there was what you assumed to be a _tongue_ in the mouth of a _skeleton_. 

Fuckin' monsters. What the fuck. 

And why was it _blue_? 

What the fuck. 

"*well, i guess we'll be.." Sans paused, and you furrowed your brows in slight confusion. His hesitation made it seem like he wanted to say or do something but couldn't, and as a result, his ever present grin wavered slightly at the corners. You watched as his grin dipped downwards, a frown that still managed to be a creepily wide grin. 

After a few seconds, Sans settled on winking and shooting finger guns at you, waving them as if they were jazz hands, "* _shiba inu later_ , you fuckin' ass." 

You scowled. "I fucking hate you, you dumb piece of shit," You deadpanned, a glare glowering over your previously energetic stare. "Go catch up with your friends, you fuckin' _shih tzu_." 

You couldn't fight back the smug grin that wiggled over your lips, completely eradicating what you had hoped was an intimidating stance. 

Sans raised an eyebone at you before reaching his arm up and doinking you in the forehead. "*'sounds better when i say it. don't steal my jokes." 

And with that last statement, Sans turned and began walking in the direction of where the rest of the group had gone. They had long since disappeared, but you had no doubt that Sans would find them in a few minutes. Even if he was the slowest little shit you could think of. 

You let out a gentle sigh and turned back towards your house. You pawed at your pockets for your keys before remembering that you didn't have time to lock your door before Undyne rushed you out the door earlier. And even if you had, you hadn't had the time to nab your keys on the way out. 

Hesitant, you slowly walked into your house, fearful that a pistol might just be in your face. 

You were an asshole. You had done a lot of things to piss a lot of people off. You wouldn't put it past anyone to come into your _unlocked_ house and try and off you. 

You would do it. 

You would do it in a heartbeat if you had to deal with someone like yourself. 

But for right now, there wasn't a weapon immediately pointed at you, and you were seemingly safe. 

Your phone buzzed, and when you pulled it out, you were disappointed to find that the notification was a text, not a Pokemon. You clicked on the notification banner, finding an odd new contact, obviously Sans, and a text that read: 

**sans Sans:**

**Did you make it home okay? -3:22am**

You fought through your smile and forced a scowl, silently reprimanding Sans despite the fact that he wouldn't know that you were reprimanding him. 

**xxx-xxx-xxxx:**

**Yes. How did you put your number into my phone? -3:24am**

The response was instantaneous. 

**sans Sans:**

**Don't give a skeleton your phone. Even if it is to catch a Clefable. -3:24am**

You stared at that text for a little bit before closing out of the texting app and loading Pokemon Go back up. You collected your gym bonus, relishing in the amount that owning close to forty gyms gave you, and finally exited out of that app and began your usual ritual, making sure to turn off the alarm in your bedroom so that it wouldn't blare in a few minutes. 

Before entering the shower, you reloaded the texting app and stared at the message that crossed onto your screen. 

Fucking Sans..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about the restaurant being Red Robin or something. A family restaurant for sure, but a good one. 
> 
> Might change it so that's more obvious instead of just saying (Restaurant)


	4. Chapter 4

When you first entered your car after having been ushered out of your restaurant early by your concerned employees, you noticed that the sun was still high in the sky. When you turned the key into the ignition and turned your car on, you noticed that it was barely noon. 

You took your hands away from the steering wheel and brought them to your face, rubbing at your cheeks, sleep deprived and agitated. There would be no Pokehunting tonight. 

You took in a deep breath as you moved your hands away from your cheeks and upwards towards your temples. You rested your index and middle fingers on either side of your head and slid your eyes shut, rubbing and massaging your temples to try and calm your frazzled nerves. You had told your employees before they had pushed you towards the door that if they needed you, you were only a phone call away. They would be disappointed to know that it's been at least fifteen minutes and you haven't even left the parking lot. 

Reluctant to leave, your hands continued to brush upwards and you finally released that deep breath when your chest began to ache. You opened your eyes and set your gaze on the restaurant in front of you. You could almost feel the disapproving stares of your employees. You stared fondly at that familiar building, your fingers tugging at your ponytails and releasing your hair from its tight and restraining bun. As if by magic, you felt ease roll over you in tireless waves, guiding your hands through the slightly sweat damp locks. 

The feeling of your fingertips running through your aching scalp was enough to give you shivers, but you kept your composure. Removing your hands from your head, you placed the left on your steering wheel and the right on the "PRNDL". Checking both your side mirror and the mirror above you, you moved your car into reverse and backed out of your parking space. You began driving away from your restaurant, peeking at it in your rear view mirror once or twice, and started towards your home. 

You breathed deeply the entire time. The ease that had washed over you tirelessly did nothing to remove the exhaustion from your tired body. You didn't have trouble keeping your eyes on the road, but you did have trouble keeping your thoughts trained on anything that wasn't something sleep related. Images of your bed haunted your thoughts, small flashes of your night stand and a cleansing shower peeked out behind thoughts of traffic laws and violations. 

You removed a hand from the steering wheel to turn on the radio. Sound erupted from your speakers, although quieter than most people had their volume set to, as "Boy Like You" by Ke$ha began playing. It started from what you assumed to be the middle of the song, and you weren't feeling particularly energized enough to turn to a different station and begin the search for one that would fit your music tastes. 

Oddly enough, your thoughts drifted away from both the road and the music playing, although not enough to remove your focus from the road and become a hazardous driver. Your mind even strayed from thoughts and images of falling asleep or collapsing onto your bed.

Instead, you found yourself thinking about your Pokemon adventures with your new monster friends. If you could consider them friends. 

Fucking hell, you were so tired.

Coming to a slow stop behind the car in front of you, you rested your forehead on the steering wheel and closed your eyes. 

Less than a moment later, you heard a knocking sound reverberating from outside your passenger door. Turning your head towards the aforementioned door and reluctantly sliding an eye open, you found yourself looking into the gleaming eyes of a monster. More specifically, the gleaming eyes of none other than Undyne. 

You let out a harrowing groan. Fucking hell, you were so fucking tired. 

Still, you found your lips sliding into a smile as you removed your head from the steering wheel. Keeping your right hand on your steering wheel, firmly clutching the leather, you reached over to your left and rolled down the passenger window. From beyond Undyne, you could see that she had exited her car, the drivers' side door hanging wide open, and Alphys, Sans, and Pap were peaking out to peer into your car. 

Thinking back to the moment you first met Undyne, you idly wondered if it would be appropriate to ask Undyne to knock you out. You doubted that her passengers weren't very capable drivers and they knew where you lived. 

"PUNK! WHAT'S UP?" Her loud and scratchy voice threw you away from your thoughts and you offered a more genuine smile than the one you held previous. In your peripherals, you noticed Sans exiting from Undyne's truck. "I THOUGHT YOU'D BE AT THE RESTAURANT!"

You glanced over at the light, finding that it was still red, and turned your gaze back to Undyne. You decided to be honest. "My employees thought it would be best if I took a day off," You felt a sort of motherly pride booming from you as you spoke about your employees. "I trust that they can manage the restaurant with the help of my assistant managers, and if they can't, I'm only a phone call away." 

You weren't talking very loud, certainly not loud enough for Alphys to hear, but you could faintly hear her voice yelling over to you, "T-t-that's so doki!" 

You had no idea what that meant, but you'd take her word for it. "NICE!" You took your hand away from your door, where your fingers had been resting over the button to open the passenger window, when you heard a lazy rapping coming from that window. "SANS! DON'T INTERRUPT!" Undyne scowled at whoever was behind you, you assumed it was Sans, before starting to talk again. You opened the door for Sans while keeping your eyes trained on Undyne. "DOES THAT MEAN YOU CAN GO POKEHUNTING WITH US?"

"*Undyne. no." You registered Sans placing his hand on your shoulder and leaning in to stare at Undyne closely. "*look at (Y/n). she's exhausted. no." 

How was the light still red? 

Sans took his hand off of you to poke at your shoulder, stopping Undyne with a halfhearted, and yet still terrifying, glare. "*try and scooch over to the passenger side." When you stared at him incredulously, Sans reached down and unbuckled your seat belt. "*i'm driving, so scooch." 

You looked away from Sans as Undyne yelped, "FUCK! THE LIGHT IS GONNA CHANGE SOON! I'LL RACE YOU GUYS TO (Y/n)'S HOUSE!" 

With that, Undyne all but vanished into her car, the door slamming shut as she jumped into her truck with an almost comical vigor. You frowned and looked back at Sans before putting your car into park and sliding out from your seat and forcing him back. You were too tired to argue with him, but you were not going to crawl into the passenger side.

With renewed energy, you quickly walked over to the other side and hooked your arm into the window, opening the locked door from the inside. You slid into the seat and shut the door just as Sans finished adjusting his seat. You buckled yourself in and Sans did the same, closing the driver's side door, placing his foot on the brake, and putting the car back into drive. A few heartbeats later, the light turned green and the cars in front of you began to move. 

You leaned back into your seat, wanting nothing more than to melt into it. You were going to have to adjust the driver's seat later, you were going to have to think about this later, but right now, you had no responsibilities to worry about. Not even the road. 

You reached over and shut the radio off before slumping back into your seat. You closed your eyes and relaxed, your scalp still throbbing slightly from the tight hold that had stretched your hair into a bun earlier. Within what seemed like seconds, but what must have been a few minutes, you felt Sans shaking your shoulder gently. 

Reluctantly opening your eyes, you peered at Sans. You somehow felt more exhausted now that you had had a few minutes of rest and wanted nothing more to confine yourself back into a peaceful rest. 

Sans wasn't keen on allowing you to sleep in a car. You felt the car turn off, you heard his door open, and within seconds, you felt yours open. Rather than feeling it, you heard your seat belt come undone, the buckle sliding over your resting form and stopping when it caught on your left arm. 

Lifting your right arm, you rubbed at your eyes and untangled yourself from the seat belt. You didn't bother to grab your stuff from the car, trudging out of the vehicle almost mindlessly. 

You supposed it was a good thing that your employees had forced you from your restaurant. You felt like a barely sentient zombie. 

An arm wrapped around your shoulder to steady you, and you heard your car door close and the familiar loud beep that signaled that your car was locked. The two of you walked towards your door, your eyes only half open, and Sans asked, "*is your door unlocked?" 

His tone was a comical one, an inside joke referring to the night that you had met Sans. You shook your head and bumped into him. With a large yawn, you said, "No, it's locked. I only keep it unlocked at night, when I'm not home." 

"*that's not smart." 

"Like I said, I'm a fuckin' idiot." You turned towards Sans and smiled tiredly as he let out a soft snort, which soon turned into a rumbling chuckle. 

Your tired smile morphed into a genuine one as his laugh grew in intensity. He must have been tired to, what you said wasn't that funny. Still, you were stupidly glad that he was laughing. You preferred genuine laughs over the terrifying pupil-less Sans you had met. 

The two of you approached your door and, using the key that you pointed at, which was attached to your key ring, Sans unlocked your door. He helped you inside, something you were immediately grateful for because the second you passed over the door frame, your legs wobbled and threatened to crash beneath you. You had no doubt that, had he let you walk in alone, you would have collapsed on the floor the second the door was closed. 

You thought you were fine when you headed to work this morning, but you supposed not. 

"*where's your bedroom?" 

You slowly walked towards your living room, planning on crashing on the couch. You didn't want to soil your sheets by sleeping in them while dirty. 

You walked into your living room, Sans immediately belting out, "*no. your bedroom. not your living room." 

You shook your head, "'m too tired for that. Too far away. 'nna crash on the couch." 

You were too fucking tired. 

The arm draped over your shoulder moved to hug your waist, "*no. i'm not letting you sleep on the couch. i'll search your whole house if i have to, you're sleeping on a _bed_." 

Your lips slumped into a tired smile. "Oh, put it to _rest_ , Sans. 'sides, I need a sho'r before I can sleep in m' bed." You were too tired to be embarrassed over your slurred words. Sans let out another chuckle and began to lead you through your house, stopping at what you assumed was your bedroom. You were too tired to open your eyes again.

You felt your body sink down into something soft as you were gently lowered away from Sans. You were surprised that he didn't comment on your furniture, or lack there of. Within moments, or what you assumed to be moments, you slipped into a relaxing darkness and let sleep come over you. 

The last thing you heard before falling asleep, though, was Sans muttering to himself, his tone light and lazy. "*terrible host you are. i guess i'll let myself out, harrumph." 

When you woke up, you tried to look for your phone only to remember that you had left all of your belongings in your car. Sitting up, you guessed it was around midnight and looked over at your alarm clock. A blaring **2:31** stared up at you, but you also noticed that all of your belongings, your purse, your key card, your phone, and everything else, was laid out neatly beside your alarm clock. 

You stared at that bundle of belongings for a long time before a thought, which has recently been coming to the forefront of your mind, came into your mind and left your lips idly and without purpose.

"Fucking Sans."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost late for work omg
> 
> Also
> 
> Everyone on Team Valor is an asshole, I have noticed, but I love my little red babies anyway


	5. Chapter 5

You were alone, the sounds of your footsteps only barely audible over the sound of your index finger tapping at your phone screen. Occasionally glancing up, you wandered idly around the small town that you had come to call home, as much of a home as it could be with you barely being around due to work. You had seen it even less lately, working yourself even harder after your sudden day off despite the concerns of others.

Your finger tapped against the screen as you, once again, checked for nearby Pokemon. 

You would be resting up for tomorrow, but you had to have a day off sometime, and that day was scheduled to be tomorrow. You made the schedule, and you figured that your restaurant could do one day without you, even if you couldn't seem to do one day without it. 

Your footsteps were heavy and loud. Checking the time, you saw that it was a quarter to one in the morning. The darkness that clouded the surroundings that sat in your peripheral vision backed up the tiny digits that stood at the top of your screen. Taking a deep breath, you chanced another passing glance away from your phone. 

You nearly dropped it when you noticed you weren't alone. 

Standing and staring at you from across the street was a presumably male hooded figure. Their hands sat in their pockets and you could only see the gleam of their eyes from the cover of their hood. 

You rolled your shoulders. You could kick ass, if this fucker wanted to try you. You were the goddamn manager of fuckin' (Restaurant). Fuck this person. 

You didn't hesitate to keep moving. While just a few seconds ago you had been walking without a purposeful direction, you now blazed across the street, not sparing a glance towards the hooded figure as you stalked past. A Clefable appeared on your screen, and the glint of a knife stopped you. 

Eyes sliding over to the figure, you glared. And you glared hard. Without thinking, you opened your mouth and began to speak. 

"You got some kind of problem or something?" Your voice died out as the figure spoke. You cocked an eyebrow and noticed the tail twitching from behind their sweatpants. A distinctly loud snort came from their direction and, despite you being quite a few feet away, the figure spat at your feet. "Fuck face." 

You didn't pause to glare at that disgusting glob that had been rudely placed before your toes. 

"What the fuck?" Your pose slid into an offensive one. Who the fuck did this shit think he was? "What's your fucking problem, douche?" 

Both you and the hooded figure took a step towards one another at the same time. For the first time since the Clefable had appeared, you noticed that the glint had come from a barely concealed phone. 

You noticed the animated icon of a Clefable peering out at you from the figure's pocket. 

You don't know why, but you blamed Sans. 

"Whoa," You whispered harshly, now ignoring the glob of goo completely as you heard the squelch of your heel practically diving into it. "What CP is that Clefable? What the fuck?"

He stared. 

You stared.

Fuck Sans. 

The figure whipped out his phone and scanned his gaze over the glowing screen. On your own phone, you tapped the Clefable and pulled up its fight animation sequence. "CP 103. You?" 

You grinned and flashed the screen towards the Pokemon Go player. "CP 509." 

The figure slowly exhaled. "Dude, get fuck't." Running a gloved hand through his hair, or fur, as you soon found out once he accidentally knocked his hood off of his head, the cat monster glared at you ferociously. "What the fuck kind of cheat are you using?" 

The two of you caught the Clefable on your screens while the figure ranted about the unfairness of life. His apathetic cursing and irritated slurs forced more than a few chuckles out of you, and within moments, you found yourself standing next to the figure. 

You were an asshole, but a sociable one. 

You were brought away from your thoughts as the cat monster bumped his elbow against yours while pocketing his phone. "Name's Burgerpants." He offered. 

Why have all of the male monsters you've met so far been creepy? 

You gave your own name and flashed a smile, eyeing the time and finding it to be three minutes past one. Burgerpants threw the hood back over his head. 

"Sorry about being such a fucking douche." His apology was insincere, but most apologies were. 

You grinned and stuck out your hand, feeling childish and loving it. "Dude, what the fuck ever. Sorry for being a dickwad." Your apology was equally insincere. 

Burgerpants didn't seem to mind. His gloved palm met your bare one for a brief handshake. "What team are you on?" You glanced over at the pocket he had shoved his phone, finding no luck in eyeing his team color. 

His eyes narrowed as he pointedly asked, "What team are _you_ on?" 

You cocked an eyebrow at the hooded cat monster. "The only team that matters, what the fuck?" 

"You're a fucking Valor schiz aren't you?" 

If you were a cat, your hackles would be raising. "And you're a fucking Mystic shit head, aren't you?" 

"Fuck face."

You caught a lazy smile catching the corners of his lips as he spewed vulgarity at you.

What the fuck ever. 

You shrugged and stepped away from Burgerpants. And then, as if you had some predetermined direction, you started passed him. Not missing a step, Burgerpants sidled up next to you, his gait slow and weary. "I would'a thought you were on Instinct." You asked him why. "You seem like an impulsive fucker, stormin' towards me without giving a damn. I could'a had a fuckin' knife, you schiz." 

"What the fuck ever." 

Burgerpants shrugged, digging into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulling out two cigarettes and a lighter. He offered one to you, and when you motioned it away, he stuck both in his mouth. "Plus, I've seen you around Sans and Paps. And Undyne and Alphys too, I guess. It was between the two teams." 

Lighting both cigarettes, Burgerpants pocketed the lighter and took a heavy drag, prompting you to move to the other side of him so you wouldn't get smoke in your face. You scanned your phone for nearby Pokemon. 

There wasn't even a fucking Weedle on your grid. 

The two of you wandered mostly in silence for the better part of an hour, commenting idly on Pokemon Go and reacting appropriately when a Pokemon appeared. By the time two thirty had rolled around, you found yourself pretty comfortable with Burgerpants. 

He smoked like a chimney, he was awkward as all fuck, and he was kind of a dick, but he seemed like a good guy. He didn't seem like the type of guy to share his cigarettes, so that was a good indication. Finally, when three rolled around, you asked, "What are you doing out here so late, anyway?" 

The glance he gave you was almost enough to shut you up. "If anyone asks, I'm not doing shit." You nodded. Taking another drag from what had to be his thirtieth cigarette of the night, Burgerpants rolled his shoulders back and spoke up again. "I work at this dumbass little shit hole of a convenience store and my boss works me like a fuckin' slave. When it's dead, I go out." 

"How do you know no one is there right now?"

Burgerpants smirked. "Who the fuck cares? If someone wants something, they can fucking take it." 

You shook your head and chuckled to yourself. "Your boss is going to kill you." 

Burgerpants let out a sharp bark of laughter, his gravelly voice booming in the silence. "What the fuck ever." 

The two of you couldn't hear your own footsteps over the sounds of barely concealed laughter. It made sense that you didn't hear another set join the both of yours. 

You did notice, however, when a hand reached out to grab your shoulder. 

Without thinking, you stopped and reached over with your right hand to grasp at the hand clenched around your left shoulder. You gripped the wrist and yanked, spinning on your heels and preparing to land a swing at whoever had grabbed you. 

"*uncle."

The fist that you had reared back behind you halted its ascent towards Sans' face. Burgerpants murmured his appreciation as he stopped walking behind you. You stared incredulously at Sans as his lazy smile peered down at you. 

"Sans. What the fuck." 

You dropped Sans' hand like it was hot coal only to have him intertwine his gloved fingers with yours a moment later. 

By working yourself to death lately, you had missed out on possible Pokehunting adventures with Sans and his gang of mismatched monsters, and while you had gotten texts from the skeletal being, you'd never been able to dutifully respond to them. It had to have been a good two weeks or so since you had last met up with Sans, when he had driven you home. 

Sans moved by you, hand still joined with yours, and maneuvered himself so that he stood in between you and Burgerpants. With you now on his right, Sans began to drag you forwards and, after a little hesitation, Burgerpants followed. Seemingly still in awe, Burgerpants casually spoke to Sans, "(Y/n) almost fucking creamed you, dude." 

"*you've mellowed out a little bit, Burg." Burgerpants bobbed his head in response. You noticed that Sans was doing that weird thing where he walked with a lazy gait, but somehow managed to maintain a speed that could be mirrored by Undyne. Burgerpants struggled to keep up. 

You tugged at your joined hands and in response, Sans tightened his grip. You glared at the skeletal monster as he continued to talk to the cat monster who was practically jogging to stay at his side. "*what are you doing out so early?" 

Despite his question being aimed at Burgerpants, Sans eyed you. You pocketed your phone and brought up both of your hands, using your free one to pick at Sans' fingers. 

The two of you walked side by side with ease as Burgerpants jogged to keep up with the two of you. After a short while, you gave up on trying to get Sans to loosen his grip and settled on playing Pokemon Go while you walked. Occasionally, you would need the use of both hands, and you somehow managed to use the fingers that were tangled with Sans'. 

When it rolled around to half passed five, Burgerpants finally gave up on trying to stay by Sans' side. He had tried to talk to you, but Sans usually cut in. Apparently the two hadn't seen each other in a while, and Sans wanted to catch up. It was too bad he wasn't keen on letting Burgerpants do the same. Sans wasn't rude about it, but it felt like he was. 

Running so that he could stand in front of you, you came to a stop, forcing Sans to do the same as you looked up at Burgerpants. His hoodie had fallen down again, and his hand came up to scratch at his fur. The cigarette in his mouth dropped to the ground and Burgerpants used his foot to put the cigarette butt out. 

"It's been great, but I've got to get back to the store. My boss usually does his rounds in an hour, and it might take me that long to get back." You nodded and smiled, stepping forwards. Digging around in his pocket, you half expected Burgerpants to pull out another cigarette despite him digging around in his hoodie instead of his sweatpants. You watched as he pulled out his phone and toyed with it for a moment. 

When he thrust it towards you, you noticed it was open on a tab imploring you to input your contact information. The screen displayed a new contact, and he had already put in your first name. You plucked the phone from Burgerpant's outstretched hand, Sans tightening his grip in response. 

You tugged on his hand. "I don't want to drop his phone. Give me my hand back." 

"*what are my other options?" 

You raised an eyebrow at Sans, and Burgerpants offered, "You're fine. It's old, anyway." It was the newest model. "Or, you could tell me your phone number and I'll put it in for you?" 

Sans dropped your hand, and you lifted it to cradle the phone delicately. You put in your number, and changed the contact name to match your Pokemon Go ID before handing the phone back. You and Burgerpants said your goodbyes and he started off in the direction opposite to the one you were facing. 

You heard the sound of a lighter clicking a few seconds later. 

Your brows furrowing, you turned towards Sans and hissed, "Sans, what the fuck was that?" 

Sans shrugged.

The fucker. 

You spun on your heels and began walking in the direction Burgerpants had went. He seemed eager to make a hasty getaway, as evident by his absent figure, but you still wanted to head home. Dawn was slipping over the edges of the horizon, the sun peeking out at you from behind the mountains and forests that hid it from view. 

It was early in the morning, and you were suddenly yearning to go back to bed. Sans caught up with you easily. "I'm not playing these childish fucking games, Sans. What the fuck was that?" 

"*i don't trust him." 

You didn't spare him a glance. "And why the fuck not?" 

"*because i know him." 

You fought to keep your voice at an appropriate volume. "Yeah? And so do I!" You brought a hand up and ran it through your hair. "You're such a fucking douche." 

Sans kept quiet, and for almost half an hour, neither of you talked. You were fuming over his inappropriate behavior, and he was likely just being Sans. 

You didn't know why you were so angry. You were sociable, sure, but you didn't care if someone just didn't want to be your friend. Maybe that was it. Burgerpants did want to be your friend, and Sans and his fucking trust issues got in the way. 

Whatever. 

Just whatever. 

If Sans wanted to touch tips with Burgerpants, he could have just told you. You would have understood. You didn't judge. He didn't have to string you along and block you from Burgerpants almost entirely. 

"*i'm sorry." 

You glanced up at Sans. He didn't offer anything other than that, and you couldn't help but think about how most apologies weren't sincere, but for some reason, you felt as though Sans' was. You reached into your pocket with the hand that Sans had been holding on to and realized that you had forgotten your earbuds at home. 

You sighed. Loudly. 

"*how has work been?" 

You stared up at Sans. "You come to (Restaurant) literally every day. You know how work has been." 

"*no, i don't. i know how business has been. how has work been?" 

For some reason, it hurt to hear the sincerity in his voice. You looked away. "It's been fine." 

"*you're tired." 

"It's worth it." 

Sans was silent for a moment. It felt like a moment too long. "*Undyne asked about you. we see you crawl through that place like a perfectionist who found an imperfection, but we don't see _you_." 

You shrugged, your shoulders rolling back and popping. You cringed. "I have off tomorrow. Today. I have off today." 

You felt Sans reach down to tug at your hand. You let him entwine his fingers with yours. "*you're going to rest." 

"I don't have to, I can han-!" 

Sans used your joined hands to spin you around so that you could face him. He leaned down slightly to make your eyes meet his. You noticed his pupils were gone, you were staring into dark voids. "*you are going to rest." 

You didn't hesitate to refute back, "I can have other days off, if Undyne has been-!" 

Again, Sans cut you off. "*you. are. going. to. rest." His words were pointed and his tone was very serious. 

You turned away and began to walk again. "Yeah, I'll rest. What the fuck ever." 

"*i have a question." 

You nodded. "*you're always busy." You nodded again. "*you're always doing something. you barely even sleep." 

"That isn't a question." 

Sans was blunt as he finally asked, "*when do you eat?" 

You shrugged. "I have a lunch break during work." 

"*do you eat during it?" 

You informed him that you had a lot to do, running a restaurant. You checked the time and wondered if Burgerpants was getting flamed by his boss right now. 

As if it was the most casual thing in the world, Sans stated, "*you're going to rest today. and i'm going to stay with you and make sure that you do. and i'm going to make sure you eat. a lot." 

"Don't you have a job?" 

Your house slid into view, but it was still quite a bit away. You had long since passed the street you had met Burgerpants on, you had passed building after building. Somehow, you had made it home in less time than it had taken you to get away from it. You blamed Sans and his weird walking thing. 

Sans ran his thumb along the back of your hand, and for some reason, this made you uncomfortable. "*i make my own schedule." 

Ah. So he was jobless. Or, he was like you and he was high up enough in the food chain that he could take a day off whenever he wanted to. 

You settled on the former. 

You tightened your grip on Sans' hand, shaking your head. "You don't need to do that." You would probably just hit up Burgerpants or go Pokehunting alone all day. "I'm going to rest. I don't need you to baby me." 

"*yeah, well, i don't give a _shih tzu_. i'm staying." 

You rolled your eyes as you approached your front door. The streets were buzzing with languid activity as reluctant workers left for their early morning shifts. You usually weren't home around this hour, and were surprised to see some people who you hadn't seen in what felt like a long time. You were usually at the restaurant by now.

This thought bugged you. 

Fucking dammit. 

"That joke is old and overused. Get some new material." 

Sans reached forward and jiggled the door knob and seemed pleased to find that it was locked. You released Sans' hand, finding it easier to do so than it was earlier when you were with Burgerpants, and reached in your back pocket. You pulled out a key, unlocking your door with ease and stepping aside. Before you could even reach back to close the door, Sans followed you inside. "Shouldn't you be with Papyrus?" 

"*he's at work." 

You cocked an eyebrow, but didn't ask. You watched as Sans shut and locked your door, pausing only for a moment before continuing on to your living room. "You'll be in here, I guess." You gestured to the couch. "Unless you want the bed? I don't fucking care. I'm taking a shower." 

You broke away from Sans again and began walking in the direction of your bathroom. You stopped inside of your room and picked out comfortable and appropriate pajamas, went into the bathroom, and began your typical routine. You began to strip, and quickly, a habit that had been built into you after years of feeling rushed in the morning. You stepped into the bathtub and turned on the shower. 

Your shower was quick and easy. You scrubbed the dirt and sweat from your skin, shampooed your hair, conditioned it, rinsed, and got out. You wiped yourself dry, rubbed your hair until it wasn't dripping anymore, and got dressed. You weren't a fan of wearing a bra to bed, but with Sans being adamant on sharing a living space with you for the day, you felt like you were almost left without a choice. 

You stepped out of the bathroom after tugging a brush through your hair. You watched the steam stream from the room for a moment before walking straight into Sans. 

His arms caught you as he held you in a brief hug that served more to steady you than anything else. "*i am sorry about earlier." 

You rolled your eyes, removed yourself from the embrace, and called over your shoulder. "Are you taking the bed or am I?" 

"*you are."

You glanced back at him, having already started towards the living room. "Are you sure?" Sans nodded.

Fucking dammit. Only Sans could make you feel bad about sleeping in your own bed. 

You trudged through the halls until you arrived at your bedroom, Sans following close behind. Before you even had a chance to sit down on the edge of the bed, Sans was behind you, guiding you to lay down on the mattress. 

"Sans. I can lie down on my own." You watched as he placed your phone gently on your night stand. You didn't even remember dropping it off anywhere. You were probably so in routine that you had just dropped it off by the bathroom door. 

"*i know." 

You remembered the clothes you left on the bathroom floor, and you nearly jumped to go back and get them. Sans held you down on the bed, telling you to relax. You glared at him as he prompted you to roll onto your stomach. 

You did as you were guided. You almost immediately felt his hands on your back. 

"Sans. What the fuck are you doing?" 

Sans kept rubbing at your back, massaging out tension you didn't realize you were holding. You had gotten used to being a walking ball of stress. You never gave a fuck. "Sans. We don't even know each other well enough to be in the same house together. Stop touching me." 

Sans didn't say anything, just kept working on your back. He kept strictly to your upper body, his hands never going lower than your shoulder blades. "*i used to do this for Tori all the time," You turned your head so that your face wasn't in the sheets. You remembered the goat woman. She didn't seem like she would be carrying a lot of stress, but Sans didn't seem like the total douche he was when you saw him around Papyrus and the others. "*when you wake up, you'll feel much better." Sans paused. "*what the fuck." 

"What?" 

"*do you even take care of yourself?" 

You moved to shrug, but Sans chastised you for doing so. "*you have so many fucking knots, what the fuck. Tori had more but, fuck." 

You stared at the wall and waited. Soon enough, despite having to deal with Sans working out kinks in your back that you didn't know you had and having to listen to him complain about your total lack of ability to care for yourself, you found yourself drifting off to sleep. 

You couldn't stop thinking about what Sans had done earlier, with Burgerpants. 

Dude, fuck Sans.

**Author's Note:**

> The year is 2016
> 
> A little town in the Eastern United States stands divided. 
> 
> On one end, Valor Challenger Jeb4700 stands with her 1706 Flareon, never using her 2309 Ninetails. She is a protective mama over the two gyms in her small town, as well as the six located near her work. 
> 
> On the other end, Mystic Challenger PoonKingIII stands with (His?) 2102 Gyrados. They are protective enough over the gyms in Jeb's town that they drive up and take it when she is finished defeating it. 
> 
> Jeb does the same thing when (He?) is finished defeating hers.
> 
> They are both assholes.


End file.
